A Chameleon Among Lemmings

Recently, I saw the movie Whip it. It’s  a pretty popular movie, and if you haven’t seen it, I recommend it. It’s a movie about roller derby, a sport that is played on roller skates. The players go around the track and score points by passing people. Anyway, I got really excited about it, and now roller derby is one of my favorite things. Last night, I saw my first roller derby game, and let me tell you, EVERY OTHER SPORT SERVES ROLLER DERBY AS  A SLAVE!!! It was so awesome. I got a crazy awesome T shirt. It has the team’s logo on it. My favorite team (The Devil’s Night Dames) was playing the D Funk all Stars. It was the championships, and the beginning was pretty intense because the Devil’s Night Dames had only been defeated once. The D Funk all Stars were undefeated. I made a sign for the game. I can’t tell you what it said, but when I was waving it around Formosa Fury (my role model!) pumped her fists and smiled at my sign. During the game I ate chips at screamed at the players.  I think that Formosa Fury and Muffy Mafioso  were the best players. I was so excited about the game, that I made  a derby team with my sister. We’re the only players. Our team is called  The Shreddy Bears. Our colors are brown and black. My name is Miss Eerie. Maggie’s name is Edgar Allen Hoe. I really hope you can see the roller derby sometime because it is awesome.

Every Tuesday, I have a violin lesson. On the way home we call for pizza every Tuesday. The people at the pizza place know us real well by now. I guess it’s because of my blue hair (that has been changed to black now. I don’t know how I have the time for this) My dad  called at the usual time and asked to pizza. He always orders the same thing. 2 cheese pizzas, cinnamon sticks, and garlic butter sauce. This time he ordered 1 pizza because he wasn’t feeling well. About 5 minutes after the call, the pizza place (Jet’s) called us back. They asked us if we didn’t actually want 2 pizzas! They know us too well. My dad hates being that predictable. We got our pizza, laughed about the whole thing with the owner and drove home happy. Over all, we had a good time.

This is pretty self-explanatory. I went into the kitchen for a drink of water. I picked up the water bottle, and somehow, some way, an ant got into the water bottle. A live ant. I felt something in my mouth so spit out my water and pulled it out of my mouth. It was still… ALIVE!!! I ran out of the room and wiped my mouth and checked for more even though I knew that nothing like that would happen again and that my fears were just ridiculous. But I was still pretty freaked out because, I mean, come on! I had a biting, black, large, living ant IN…MY… MOUTH. I guess my parents noticed my stressed-outedness and asked me what was wrong. I told them there was an ant in my mouth. My dad started laughing and my mom shivered. Eventually I got over it and laughed with everyone else. But to this day, I’ve been afraid to get a drink…

Hey Everybody, guess what!?!?!?!!!! I dyed my hair blue! It’s blue! IT’S INSANE!!!!!  My  mom dyed it on vacation and everyone at school was shcoked. Ironically, the color is titled shocking blue. It’s kind of funny, because most of my peers like it, but I can tell a lot of adults don’t like it. Like Miss Becky, the secretary from the elementary school K-2. I was walking home  with Maggot (Maggie. No she doesn’t like it) and Miss Becky saw me. She said “Maggie I certainly hope you didn’t dye your hair! Not that it doesn’t look   good on you…” I’m smarter than most adults think!

In my science class, we had a debate over whether sand is a liquid or a solid. I know that sand is a solid because at the end of the debate, Mr. Boos (surprisingly everyone’s favorite teacher) told us so. I was on the side of the solids and debated that sand is a solid. Mr. Boos, in order to make our task trickier, lied and gave us fake evidence that sand is  a liquid. I never got a chance to go up to the podium and disprove the evidence, but I had some pretty good evidence. He said that sand is easily poured into another container. A, sand cannot be poured. It can only be dumped. Water would fall out smoothly and the droplets would easily slide next to each other. Sand will tumble and roll out. B, if you took any solid, such as a house, and broke it into small parts, it would appear to have been poured out too. And C, imagine if you super-sized the sand grains into boulders. Now think of them in a giant dump truck. They could be “poured” out just as easily. Mr. Boos also said that sand takes the shape of the container. This is also a lie. Water will always remain level with the ground, no matter which way the container is turned. Sand will not. As you can see, sand is definitely a solid.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody! I hope you all had wonderful holidays. This Thanksgiving I went to my Aunt and Uncle’s house. My uncle is the best cook ever, emphasis on the best. I had delicious mashed potatoes and green beans, and I’m loving those Z-bars! Not only did I eat like crazy, but I told my grandpa that I wanted to start building model ships. I passed one in the window of a shop while I was walking and fell in love. He (maybe) bought a ship on eBay called the America. I don’t know if he got it or not, but I’ll know when Christmas comes!  I also have lately become interested in the ancient Egyptians and their culture.  My dad went out and bought me an ancient Egyptian toob (the label said toob, not tube)! It’s full of things like the Egyptian gods, and The Sphinx, and mummies. I made one of them into a pendant. It’s the hieroglyphic of the sun god Re. I also have one more new interest… sewing! I made my own stuffed elephant named Patch (short for Patchrick!). He has purple checkers on his body, blue swirls on his head, pink roses on his head, and blue feet. He’s the cutest. By the way, happy full moon! (December 2)

It was my first day of school , but nothing really exciting happened until after school! When I came home, I saw my dog Marlowe, (who, by the way I have owned for 5 years and never known that his full name was Phillip Marlowe) was acting like a total spaz. I rushed over to him and saw that he was nudging a:

A. Rabbit

B. Raccoon

C. Squirrel

My sister and I screamed “Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!” who calmly walked out smiling. “There’s a raccoon out here who needs immeadiate attention,” I said “Hurry, hurry, hhhuuurrrrrryyy!” I sang, or maybe screamed.  We called the Humane Society and they came by and picked him up.  And they helped us out and told us to calm down. They drove away down the street as if never there. And then it rained.

Recently, I have become a fan of brat dolls (yes ha ha) and I’m now saving up for brat big baby. Price? 50 big ones. Shows you how much I care.  Anyway, this will show you how cool brat actually are.

Tell me if you think it was too cheesy.

Last night my dad (author of 1 monkey, 1 keyboard blog) was on call at U of M medical school, so I slept with my mom in her bed. At about 3:05 am, I awoke to screaming and assumed that my dad had gotten home early and had started goofing around with my mom(which she hates).  “Ella, Ella,” she gasped. “There’s a bat in the room!” That’s when I hear flapping followed by footsteps rushing down the stairs. My mom said “Quick, quick, get out of the room!” I scrambled out of bed and we both rushed out of the room. I went and sat on the couch and saw my grandpa standing in his underwear. I later found he thought there was an intruder. My mom said “I don’t know what he was planning to do if that was the case.” My grandpa then proceeded to get a broom and go into my mom’s bedroom. Later he came out holding you-know-what. He put it outside. “When I came down I thought there was an intruder!” he said. “There was!” my mom exclaimed. I thought back to how funny the whole thing was. My mom screaming, my grandpa in his underwear, and I thought that all in all the whole thing was pretty darn ridiculous.